Consent

"Consent", is not just something that happens to be a word. It's a word that should be taught and understood well in every society, specially here.  Doing something without someone's consent can be considered as an offence to that person. Consent is the root of many things that are in existence like partnering up in business or regulating an organisation of some sort like schools, corporations, government, or we can take personal things into prospect such as choosing careers, goals, interests, etc. In a sense, democracy is based on consent. In political philosophy, the phrase consent of the governed refers to the idea that a government's legitimacy and moral right to use state power is only justified and lawful when consented to by the people or society over which that political power is exercised. So you see, even the law wouldn't work if it is not consented by the people. 

So in a way, doing something without someone's consent would be illegitimate for that person. A much rather "illegitimate" thing is sex without consent, or RAPE. Schools are busy with reciting the periodic table, solving algebraic equations, teaching cursive writings? Like what the fuck, when did reciting the periodic table solve anything in our country? The fact that schools don't care about teaching kids about sex, consent, cyber-security, not to bully, self-defence, but care a lot about dress-code, short hair, bringing books, showing up well on exams, is just ridiculous. Kids, they should know how things work, 'cause seriously boys don't know or understand the concept of "consent", and girls are stupid enough to not know that their "No" is valid to whomever they say it to and their denial doesn't have to ultimately be their fault for any disruption in the relationship. Sexual activity without consent is not sex, it's rape or sexual assault.

I'm not even making this up, but I've had friends (whom I've cut off) who did things without consent to their girls. And as a dumb idiot back then, I didn't do anything. And girls, I don't even know why you let them do things without your consent, maybe it's because you love them, but can't you see that they love your body more than you? And seriously what the fuck is up with this "Send nudes" thing. Asking for nudes is ok, it's not unethical. If she enjoys it, you enjoy it and things stay within and not outside, it's totally fine. But this constant begging, insisting her, blackmailing, that's not okay. Personally, I've asked for nudes as well, but I never insisted her on sending one after she says "No". If she wants to, she would. It's a mutual thing. Like dude, you can't love someone and at the same time make her do something she doesn't want to do. That's straight up manipulation and that thing is what a wussy would do and wussies should grow up, and only then have girlfriends.

There's always rape cases in news, every week now and it's the 21st century. I don't even understand, I mean you got women out there just as horny as men on fucking Facebook, why don't you guys search for each other? Worrying thing is that they're only the reported ones, who knows how many rapes and sexual assaults at home, at school, at workplace, at public places, in the bus, go unreported. The first thing they ask is "What was the girl wearing?" The second thing they ask is "What did she do to provoke?" No no no no, the clothes don't say "Let's have sex", and all she did was walk down the street, minding her own business. Suddenly it's her fault, she's the one who loses dignity, who is shamed in the society, and not the rapist. 

Now this article doesn't exactly "compensate our lifestyle" but gentlemen, it's a serious topic and should be discussed by every one in my opinion. We alphas don't do dumb stuffs. Sexual consent between partners now, before being sexual with your partner, you should know if she wants to be sexual with you too. And how do we know that? By asking, that's right. Consenting, and asking is about personal boundaries and respecting your partner. It's checking in if things are clear, and there's mutual consent to do things together.

Consent is FRIES.

• Freely given: Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, coercion, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
• Reversible: Anyone can reverse their consent, at anytime. Even if you’ve done it before.
• Informed: Be honest. You can only consent to something if you have the full story. 
• Enthusiastic: When it comes to sex, you should only do stuff you WANT to do, not things that you feel you’re expected to do.
• Specific: Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to others (like sex).

You have the final say over what happens to your body as simple as that. So, how do you ask for consent? It’s simple. Ask: "Is it cool if we [things you wanna do]?" And listen for the answer. It’s also important to pay attention to their body language and tone.

If your partner says "yes" or makes it clear that it's cool, then you have consent.

If your partner says "no," doesn’t say anything, or says yes but seems unsure or uncomfortable, then you DON’T have consent.

If you don’t know what they want, or they say yes but don’t seem sure, check in before you continue. You can check in by saying something like "It’s cool if you’re not into this. We can do something else."

If your partner pressures you into doing something you don't want to, it can be anything from holding you from going out to non-consensual sex, it's time to leave. That kind of activity is a sign of unhealthy relationship and it's time to dump that piece of crap.

It's 2020, we must destroy this rape culture.

PS: Wanna thank and give credit to Planned Parenthood, UN, Bishal Gautam, and some of my friends for inspiring me to write about this. 

#justicefornirmalapanta #consentmatters